Acceptance

I haven't written here in awhile. Not good. I had the best of intentions I swear, lol, nevertheless, I accept the fact that I have not done what I set out to do, which was write a blog. I like to start things, but seldom finish them (I accept that too). Side note: I see so many blogs talk about specific things, like those foodies or cosmetics reviewers. What do I talk about? Hmmmmm....basically I like to talk about my inner most thoughts. So I don't suppose I have yet determined what these posts should be about just yet. But you are free to join me on the journey of self discovery. Or perhaps these posts can be about just thoughts and thoughts alone. Although my intention was to talk about my progress in regards to my creative endeavors, but I find it so much more satisfying talking about my innermost feelings instead. I'm just gooey, I guess. Anyhow, back to the topic at hand, ACCEPTANCE. It is something that I have struggled for my entire existence. Doesn't everybody though? But for me it was never just about people accepting me, but surprise, surprise, accepting myself as well. I have recently come to terms with the fact that things may well be working out in my favor. I have certainly had bumps along the road which have made me extra cautious and vigilant. But all that time-consuming behavior made me not see that perhaps I can take a chill pill and accept that things are falling into place and that I don't have to be a warrior everyday. In these times we are called into action, but it is so necessary to literally stop and smell the flowers. To see there is beauty in the world and maybe things aren't as bad as one may think. I tend to be a very happy in the moment type of person. But don't get it twisted, I do more often than I care to admit have been guilty of having those moments of anxiety and thinking the worst. But lately I have come to the conclusion that I need to accept that things are ok and that's OK! I know that in order to grow, I had to rip off my rose colored glasses, but in doing so, I almost became bitter. I now realize that although it was necessary to see things for what they really are, it is also vital to seek out beauty during the quiet times, during the times we run on automatic. That's when our thoughts sometimes escape us and we become worrisome individuals. Today for me, was filled with freedom, even when my mind attempted to persuade me to think negatively, I reminded myself that I simply have to accept that not everyday is a day for inner conflict. That I can simply think about nothing and feel alright about it. To take a deep breath and relax. How awesome is that!!!!!!! Thinking takes so much of my time, sometimes I actually forget to write the grand novel that I am suppose to be working on. It was lovely to finally give myself permission to not wait on others to accept me and not worry so much, but to instead focus my attention on accepting me, myself and I.